Do your kids Ever grow up?

[whothingie]

Dinner at a restaurant over the weekend was classed as a family meal. Set price. Set menu. The dessert was placed in front of me and as there was a little left in the bowl, offered it to those at the table, but knowing that the male at the table would accept.
Offered it first to older member. No thanks. Offered it to next person. No thanks, then first person's daughter who was celebrating her birthday. Mum piped up. No she's diabetic. I knew that but manners say offer it and she can choose.
Daughter was attempting to celebrate her 60th birthday.
Both of us kept cool but inwardly I was furious.

Grump over.

[groo]

Oh yes.

At around 50 years of age my kids are entering "worrying parent" mode with me, and I'm pretty happy with that..

[fishface]

I assume we never do, even if we do.

I remember my uncle visiting my grandmother. She worried about my uncle not eating breakfast and another time looking for a comb so he could comb his hair. The fact he was 60+ was irrelevant!

Oh and she told him off for his pants having a hole in them.

[Liiisa]

Oh yes, my mom can be like that. I said to her once “did your mom micromanage you like that when you were 45 years old?” (Which is what I was at the time).

I’m not like that - I’m perfectly happy to treat Spawn like an adult. Why take on more responsibility than you have to?!

[sophie]

I hope I don’t treat our son in a disrespectful way (which I think it is, when you treat them as if they haven’t grown up). I don’t always agree with his decisions but I keep my mouth shut.. just as I hope he does when he doesn’t agree with me.

[Webs]

Sigh. I remember sharing desserts with my mother. It's been a very long time.

[Phar Lap]

Mar 26, 2024 1:32:14 GMT -5 whothingie said:

Dinner at a restaurant over the weekend was classed as a family meal. Set price. Set menu. The dessert was placed in front of me and as there was a little left in the bowl, offered it to those at the table, but knowing that the male at the table would accept.
Offered it first to older member. No thanks. Offered it to next person. No thanks, then first person's daughter who was celebrating her birthday. Mum piped up. No she's diabetic. I knew that but manners say offer it and she can choose.
Daughter was attempting to celebrate her 60th birthday.
Both of us kept cool but inwardly I was furious.

Grump over.

You think that’s bad? It’s even worse when it’s the daughter or the son, of the mother who pipes up sotto voice “you can’t have any you’re diabetic,”

It is still my choice to decide yay or nay and it makes me furious when that choice is taken away from me. Yes, I have diabetes 2, and yes, it probably isn’t a good idea to have a small piece of dessert/cake/whatever,  but don’t treat me like a six year old. 

[jimm]

Speaking of six year olds - one of my kid's favourite books when they were little was 'A Special Swap' (Special Trade in same markets)

www.goodreads.com/book/show/1515953.A_Special_Trade

Although I don't have a wheelchair, my daughter helps me buy my clothes, takes me to the Doctors (various) and comes into the rooms with me in case I forget what to tell them or what they tell me, drives me when we go anywhere together, and in general helps me keep safe and well. We call this the 'Special Swap', and although we joke about it and it is sometimes hard to just sit in the proverbial wheelchair, but I know it's the right thing to do.

One day I'll have a real wheelchair, and she'll be pushing it.

[Liiisa]

That's lovely jimm.

I'm amused by that link - on that same page is a "people also like" thing, with one being Benjamin Labatut's "When We Cease to Understand the World" - which I did enjoy, it was about quantum physics, but... what an odd choice to put on a page about a children's book.

[jimm]

I think maybe it knows something about you and what you read - that's how the internet works, right?

[Liiisa]

Well of course. I even have a goodreads account, but I abandoned it, so it thinks I’ve been slogging through “Guns, Germs, and Steel” for the past 15 years.

[tzarine]

i was a really laissez faire mother since tzarevich was always a very independent child

there was a parents board for his college where they helicopter moms worried bout the laundry service & delivery service on weekends when the dorm kitchens were closed for precious addison campbell parker. & risers & fans. the self induced hysterics

i told him before he left home, i wanted him to know some self defense, complete a first course, know bout whiskey & how to tie a full windsor

[psw]

The whiskey bit is important, perhaps moreso for girls. My elder brother educated me at large parties with open bars, bringing me a sip of something and saying "taste and remember." He was really annoyed by dates who didn't know what they liked and concerned for me that I should know what I liked and be able to tell if someone spiked my ginger ale.

[tzarine]

Mar 27, 2024 16:23:11 GMT -5 psw said:

The whiskey bit is important, perhaps moreso for girls. My elder brother educated me at large parties with open bars, bringing me a sip of something and saying "taste and remember." He was really annoyed by dates who didn't know what they liked and concerned for me that I should know what I liked and be able to tell if someone spiked my ginger ale.

psw, good older brother

in cali, there were some bars where the bartenders who warned young women when men bought them drinks.

i actually love an aged single malt whiskey on a winters night in front of a fire
ive had to teach male students how to tie their ties. id teach them to do a 4 in hand.
my dad taught me how to tie the full windsor

[Liiisa]

I never taught Spawn to tie a tie because when he was a kid he was still presenting as a girl and plus I think ties are stupid. But it is a good skill to have

I did give him good beer when he was in high school, to the point where when he went to college it was like "the beer the other kids have is crap and I won't drink it," so my work was done.

[whothingie]

I tied the ties for all the men in a wedding party lately. They had ordered ties pre tied. Major panic until the father of the groom remembered his great aunt could. Hilarious as I had to sit them down as every one of them were at least 18 inches taller and wider than me.
They did look smart and I received a round of applause during the grooms thanks speech.

[groo]

Yes. Was a time when I could tie a bow tie, both a single ender and a double ender, but as with my ability to run, skip, hop and jump it is a skill that has disappeared with the passage of time.

[Q-pee]

I can tie a tie, but only if it's around my own neck.

What can I say? Blame Annie.

[sprite]

It's always rude for one adult to tell another adult what 3rd adult can or cannot do, unless there's a language issue, or 2nd and 3rd adult have pre-arranged this.

Our last visit to the in-laws, partner wheeled his dad to the accessible toilet and helped him out.
Later, his dad apologised, and partner pointed out that dad had taken HIM to the toilet often enough, and with more mess involved...

[tzarine]

how to tie a full windsor
www.tie-a-tie.net/windsor/

[Liiisa]

Biden is raising funds by teaching people how to tie ties?

[tzarine]

Mar 28, 2024 21:02:11 GMT -5 Liiisa said:

Biden is raising funds by teaching people how to tie ties?

fixed that

[wombatrois]

When I was at uni I worked at a bar/cafe where the uniform included a tie of your choice. I had a wide selection from the op shop, but my favourite was my pink panther tie.

I received lessons from J, but had at one stage worn ties in my previous life where my Dad taught me.

I definitely had Annie as my role model. Both hair and attire.

[tzarine]

i wore ties during uni, esp w men's jackets
@ my jobs

i had a louise brooks bob
a pixie once

my style icon is probably marlene dietrich bc she rocked the tux

***
growing up
sadly @ tzarevich's college, men were not allowed in the self defense classes bc one year they had a rape problem
karate classes which we did as a fam, dont really apply to street self defense

[ozziegiraffe]

I had to wear ties as part of my winter school uniform in primary school, and both summer and winter in high school. I don’t think I’ve ever worn one since. I don’t like tight things around my neck.

[groo]

Once, in a BOAC checkin line in Toronto, I queued next to a man wearing the tie of ny old club in Sydney. Instant rapport - but I now live in a subtrpoical zone and the very idea of wearing a tie seems both anachronistic and uncomfortable.

[psw]

When my brother was (briefly) in the army, everyone had to have their picture taken, dressed in full uniform, for their ID. My brother was the only one who knew how to tie a necktie, which he did for the whole crowd.

[tzarine]

when tzar got an internship writing 30 under 30 for forbes, i called him a capitalist tool
he wanted to take us to a nice lunch (a colleague told me she did that w her parents & they pranked her & pretended to order the most expensive bottle of wine) i did the same trick w vintage sake which totally suprised him.
we had a lovely shabu lunch