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Post by Liiisa on May 22, 2018 19:01:04 GMT -5
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Post by sprite on May 30, 2018 15:36:19 GMT -5
the guy on the witness stand at the trial i was at. tried to tell us he had about 50-70 ppl at a party in his very tiny 1 bedroom flat. (other witnesses said 20, 25.) claimed to have drunk 2 litres of vodka, snorted 2g of coke cut into 30 lines, (named a price 4 times higher than the real value of cocaine) and taken around 20 valiums--and was still walking.
i'm not sure if he was trying to impress us, or, as he didn't seem very bright, if he genuinely believes that's what he consumed.
it's sort of sad--he doesn't look like he's going to have a massively successful life by any definition of success.
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Post by Liiisa on May 30, 2018 17:39:19 GMT -5
OK wow sprite! Astonishing.
Sanofi-Aventis' response to Roseanne saying she was a racist because of Ambien.
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Post by sprite on May 31, 2018 4:00:50 GMT -5
laughing in the wrong way: uk firms defend lack of women on boards by saying "the issues are too complex."
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Post by Liiisa on May 31, 2018 4:53:39 GMT -5
laughing in the wrong way: uk firms defend lack of women on boards by saying "the issues are too complex." Speechless.
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Post by scicaro on May 31, 2018 9:47:27 GMT -5
My friend's kids giggling as they interview the author of Mr Gum.
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Post by rikita on May 31, 2018 18:48:16 GMT -5
my nephews determines speed-crawl when he sees something he finds interesting ...
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Post by Q-pee on Jun 1, 2018 1:09:49 GMT -5
Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
It took me a moment but then giggled for ages.
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Post by sprite on Jun 1, 2018 14:45:59 GMT -5
1. An old classmate lives in a wooden house in the woods. A porcupine is eating her house and deck. This has made the front page of the capital city's newspaper THREE TIMES.
2. My parents are driving around northern England on holiday. They keep staying in places that are not only not on the tourist trail, but actually the sort of place locals are trying to leave. They've missed York and Durham, for example.
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Post by Liiisa on Jun 1, 2018 19:32:17 GMT -5
!!! I searched "porcupine eating house" and it turns out it's not an unusual problem at all! Crazy.
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Jun 1, 2018 20:00:25 GMT -5
Once again the sideline commentary from LC's football coach was hilarious. And he can't help himself, he was also doing it for the game before ours.
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Jun 1, 2018 20:01:42 GMT -5
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Post by psw on Jun 6, 2018 13:55:52 GMT -5
The fortune cookies in the Chinese restaurant are kosher.
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Post by Webs on Jun 6, 2018 14:47:55 GMT -5
Having my third bowel movement of the day and thinking "I need to talk to Snarky about this. She'd understand".
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Post by ozziegiraffe on Jun 7, 2018 4:39:51 GMT -5
I've been watching a cable tv series called Sister Wives, about a Mormon family with 4 wives. The father's sex talk with his teenage daughter and her boyfriend was crazy! Where on earth did he learn biology?
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Jun 8, 2018 2:16:13 GMT -5
Working with a friend and counting money - we have been doing this particular job together for a few years and always crack up at some stage when doing it. Today was no different. It would involve one of those long, rambling answers that makes no sense to anyone not there about exactly why we were laughing, but plenty of laughs were had!
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Post by sprite on Jun 8, 2018 15:48:56 GMT -5
the answers to this worksheet. i never get anything so entertaining in my lessons.
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Post by Liiisa on Jun 9, 2018 6:12:31 GMT -5
the answers to this worksheet. i never get anything so entertaining in my lessons. !!! Walking (because I'm gorgeous) Too funny
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Post by poppy on Jun 14, 2018 18:12:20 GMT -5
stupid male person of this household and needless to say he is very lucky to have not hurt himself greatly as he would have been outside in the elements for a long time before I came looking for him. So what did he do, grumpy old fool sneaking up on the neighbours chickens, which were once again in our yard, with the intent of killing them - slipped and fell heavily on to the ground. Has sore thigh muscles, sore arms and his back is sore again.
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Post by Liiisa on Jun 14, 2018 21:17:46 GMT -5
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Jun 14, 2018 21:36:52 GMT -5
Laughing at the incompetence of it, otherwise I would cry:
The burst pipe under the local road - after about a week there has finally been a bit of a breakthrough. Today there are cones on the road near the main area and a sign saying 'water over road'. No actual work being done, as that would involve the three different departments from two tiers of government (state and local) actually communicating with each other.
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Post by riverhorse on Jun 15, 2018 3:29:17 GMT -5
I'd love to know what chopped caczooled is and where I can get some
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Post by ozziegiraffe on Jun 15, 2018 5:11:33 GMT -5
Liiisa, that's hilarious.
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Post by wombatrois on Jun 15, 2018 6:56:52 GMT -5
Agree, hilarious.
HD - don't get me started on Water Corp here - still waiting for the connection to be completed at the development I'm working on - only about 6 months in the waiting. When they came to start the work,in January, they ended up emptying the tanker of water at the end of the day, with the water just running down the road into the drains.
It was a sight to make you cry, not laugh.
Not much making me laugh these days, although the bot-recipes was a welcome relief. Although I do manage to have a few laughs with my architect - mainly slagging off other people on the project! We have a lovely sweary relationship going.
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Post by sprite on Jun 16, 2018 5:22:23 GMT -5
A friend has appealed a parking ticket, referencing Monty Python's Life of Brian.
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Jun 17, 2018 7:00:58 GMT -5
How???
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Post by sprite on Jun 17, 2018 13:53:50 GMT -5
there two car parking areas near each other, both belong to the council. she has never used them, so when using the app to pay for parking, she used the first one to pop up--there wasn't signage near her to doublecheck, and she didn't see on the app that there was another with a similar name.
one is 'priory lane car park' and the other is 'priory car park.'
she suggested it was something like 'people's front of Judea' and 'the Judean people's front.'
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Post by riverhorse on Jun 20, 2018 3:00:24 GMT -5
Read a description of somebody being "as slippery as two eels in a barrel of snot". I'm still sniggering 10 minutes later.
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Post by sprite on Jun 22, 2018 17:04:24 GMT -5
my partner is always commenting on how similar he and my father are, which is both funny and worrying.
today, one of his false teeth fell out. my father is missing the same tooth.
i laughed quite a bit at this, which was not the reaction he'd wanted...
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Post by libbyh on Jun 23, 2018 5:45:06 GMT -5
Every year we get invited to a family birthday party which we desperately try to get out of, usually without much success. This year I have the perfect medical excuse (doctor advises avoiding crowds and possible sources of infection) but this branch of the family don't actually know about my problems so I can't use the perfect excuse. Ha, will find another one.
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