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Post by sprite on Nov 16, 2022 13:11:27 GMT -5
So, I have started reading Kate Muir's "Everything YOu need to know about the Menopause but were afraid to ask."
I'm only on chapter 2 and am already equal parts optimistic, nervous, and furiuos.
Is anyone else comfortable discussing this? I force my partner to listen to me rant about this stuff (he's mildly uncomfortable but also knows it's important for both of us), but I don't have many women close by who are going through this.
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Post by tinaja on Nov 16, 2022 14:12:20 GMT -5
You may get angry a lot over nothing. Or feel like your chest is going to explode like the sun. A few things that come to mind.
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Nov 16, 2022 16:00:31 GMT -5
Happy to join in a chat. Something I talk about with my group of friends. I'm sort of still somehow limping along, one friend hasn't had a period for a few years now, a few are just starting the whole thing and another is still a baby.
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Post by lisamnz on Nov 16, 2022 17:26:02 GMT -5
Your joints will ache. Your period won't stop, or to be more accurate it will, but first it will get more frequent (three weekly, hands up). Your body will decide it's going to start storing fat in places it never did before. You'll be tired (going to bed at the same time as the kids, hands up)
I could go on. peri-menopause sucks balls.
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Post by lisamnz on Nov 16, 2022 17:26:14 GMT -5
I'm in discussions with the GP about trying HRT.
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Post by kraken on Nov 16, 2022 17:36:23 GMT -5
Happy to join in - I'm starting to suspect I may be perimenopausal, also have no one to really talk to about it as my mother died when I was 20, and I'm not close to any relatives, and none of my friends who I'd talk to about stuff like this seem to be getting any symptoms (I've asked).
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Post by lisamnz on Nov 16, 2022 18:00:33 GMT -5
My mother had a full hysterectomy in her 30s, so is no help for a very different reason!
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Post by Liiisa on Nov 16, 2022 18:12:31 GMT -5
I've come out on the other side of it, which is GREAT. But perimenopause kinda sucked. I would get my period at really stupid unpredictable times. Don't stop carrying around a tampon/cup/whatever until 2 years after what you think was the last time!
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Post by tinaja on Nov 16, 2022 18:23:31 GMT -5
Huge benefit: I used to get my period any time that I traveled. I had to change stuff on squat toilets. Or there were no toilets. And I was always heavy. Now more space in my suitcase now for other stuff.
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Post by sophie on Nov 16, 2022 18:42:43 GMT -5
That saying ‘this too shall pass’ is so applicable to all symptoms. I had periods from hell until the doctor decided I could use a full hysterectomy, which I did very happily. I should have had it 10 years earlier. At that point, no symptoms, no periods, no problems.
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Post by Webs on Nov 16, 2022 20:05:32 GMT -5
Recent doctor visit the question of when my last period was had me scrolling through the calendar on my phone... I don't remember I said. She said "Congratulations". We both knew damn well I wasn't pregnant.
Now I just have to deal with the incontinence. I drink a liquid, I have to go to the bathroom the next time I stand up. If I'm out and about and feel the need, I must find a bathroom. Incontinence pads are worn regularly and I keep extra in whatever bag I'm carrying.
Sleep is frequently a mystery.
I am not cold anymore, though.
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Post by mod on Nov 16, 2022 20:06:34 GMT -5
As MOD I think this is an important topic and no one should feel shy or shame about discussing it.
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Post by Phar Lap on Nov 16, 2022 20:51:46 GMT -5
I’m probably not much help because I really can’t seem to remember that much. I didn’t go to the doctors though, I didn’t get any of those HTR things, I just sort of muddled along. One day I had them, then I didn’t. I did get hot in the face, I remember that, and I used to have a quicker temper than I usually do, and I think I might have been a bit snappy at times, and I’ve put on weight but wether that is to do with the change of life as it was once called or because I eat more or the wrong things I know not.
I have become very good at sitting back in the car or on the couch and daydreaming. What’s happening is going to happen and it’s such a relief not to have to keep going through it every month. My periods were always very heavy and I hated and loathed them with a vengeance so for me, it’s like that Scottish fellow calling out “Freeeedomm”.
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Post by lisamnz on Nov 16, 2022 22:02:38 GMT -5
That saying ‘this too shall pass’ is so applicable to all symptoms. I'd love it if you intended this to also apply to the weight gain but I strongly suspect it doesn't.
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Post by Liiisa on Nov 16, 2022 22:19:16 GMT -5
Yay I can attribute the weight gain to menopause instead of ice cream and booze! Well, it's probably both.
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Nov 16, 2022 22:36:32 GMT -5
Your joints will ache. Your period won't stop, or to be more accurate it will, but first it will get more frequent (three weekly, hands up). Your body will decide it's going to start storing fat in places it never did before. You'll be tired (going to bed at the same time as the kids, hands up) I could go on. peri-menopause sucks balls. I haven't necessarily had periods coming more frequently, as a friend termed it was more 'one, two, skip a few'. And it will also alternate between so light you wouldn't really notice it, or heavy as anything. Though some of the weird stuff this year I couldn't tell if it was post mRNA vaccines or not, as the skipping always seemed to be timed after a vax dose.
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Post by lisamnz on Nov 16, 2022 22:43:31 GMT -5
Yay I can attribute the weight gain to menopause instead of ice cream and booze! Well, it's probably both. it's just more where it's going. Apart from having kids, I've always been much the same shape apart from weight coming & going from belly & thighs. But now it's in places it's never been before. Like my back. Why does my body suddenly think I need fat on my back???
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Post by lisamnz on Nov 16, 2022 23:46:54 GMT -5
Yay I can attribute the weight gain to menopause instead of ice cream and booze! Well, it's probably both. Hang on, you're telling me chardonnay has calories? ? ;-)
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Post by lillielangtry on Nov 17, 2022 2:50:07 GMT -5
I was put in "chemical menopause" during my cancer treatment; there was no "peri" about it, my hormones went from those of a normal 30 year old to a 60 year old in 3 weeks. I found the worst part not sleeping through the night, and yeah stiff joints.
Somewhat surprisingly when I came off the meds, my periods came back despite chemo, which is good for my bone density although a bit risky from the cancer perspective. And that means I'm going to go through actual menopause again at some point - very possibly earlier than I would have done without chemo. (I'm now 41)
I hope I get off lightly, since I won't be allowed anything containing oestrogen. It's one of the great things about having hormone positive breast cancer at a young age- first you're not allowed most contraception, then you're not allowed HRT.
Thanks for the thread; sharing experiences is good.
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Post by snowwhite on Nov 17, 2022 4:04:06 GMT -5
I segued from tired from children waking me up at night (and consequently it seems being doomed to be a light sleeper for ever more) to tired and also forgetful. Which may be hormonal etc or lack of sleep or both.
I've had one proper period this year. It lasted a bit over 2 weeks. Since then my body has thought about it twice - bits of spotting, but nothing really worthy of the name.
After much toing and froing I managed to get a blood test at the GP a number of months back, but they never contacted me about the results so who knows what's going on, and while all I am is tired and forgetful further inquiry seems more effort than it's worth. Or should I get in touch again? They always want me to phone for an appt during morning school run time AND when I get a telephone appt they want to phone during afternoon school run time, which is helpful.
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Post by kraken on Nov 17, 2022 4:42:13 GMT -5
I'm still regular although in comparison to having been regular down to the day I can be +/- 5 days off, and I've gone from 5 days to 7-8 which sucks. The worst thing though is I've always been pretty light, and I'm now at a point where I have 2-3 days in the middle where I'm so heavy if it gets any worse I won't be able to leave the house, it's like a damn tap getting switched on.
I'm also getting hairs on my chin which is new, and my hair is noticeably thinning on one temple. Oh and I'm getting more spots than I did as a teenager.
Hormonal birth control has never worked for me because of side effects so I'm dreading how this is all going to play out, especially as the peri stage can carry on for some time as I understand it (I'm 43 now).
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Nov 17, 2022 4:48:40 GMT -5
Kraken, invest in period undies for the flooding days - I remember going out with LC and Clipper for the winter outdoor ice-skating (must have been 2019, hasn't been held since) and having the undies as a back up as well as a super tampon. It meant when it did gush I had time to get to the toilet and change,, and was still able to skate and have fun with the family.
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Post by ozziegiraffe on Nov 17, 2022 6:08:01 GMT -5
Huge benefit: I used to get my period any time that I traveled. I had to change stuff on squat toilets. Or there were no toilets. And I was always heavy. Now more space in my suitcase now for other stuff. I had a particularly long and heavy period while staying in a village in Solomon Islands where the only toilet facility was squatting on the river bank. Fortunately, I was staying with a woman friend of a similar age, and could tell her what was happening. I ended up taking custom medicine from the village healer, who was also a trained nurse. I’m glad all that is over, as it’s worth reaching the other side. When I was going through menopause, I didn’t use HRT, but did find a herbal preparation called Promensil helpful.
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Post by wombatrois on Nov 17, 2022 6:27:29 GMT -5
I think I'm almost out the other side, but still get hot after eating sugar. Peri was when I was at my most sweaty at night (and when I stopped using flannelette sheets!). I was always regular as clockwork, but then started having haphazard periods and they did get a lot heavier (from being fairly light all my life).
I'm fairly sure I became more irritable and short-fused, but am now back to only sometimes :-D
Weight gain is probably due to not being able to eat anything I like anymore, but not doing anything about it (i.e. not eating anything I like). I have a bit of a winter/summer weight thing going on, right now I've cut back the snacking and my weight is reducing. I recognise that this is not as easy for everyone.
I did get mini-migraines for the first time in my life, which have mostly gone - they weren't that regular, but were awful.
I took no supplements or herbal preparations, although I did consider it.
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Post by tinaja on Nov 17, 2022 8:50:25 GMT -5
W3 that is interesting that you also had hot flashes after eating sugar. I still do to a degree.
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Post by kraken on Nov 17, 2022 8:58:32 GMT -5
Kraken, invest in period undies for the flooding days - I remember going out with LC and Clipper for the winter outdoor ice-skating (must have been 2019, hasn't been held since) and having the undies as a back up as well as a super tampon. It meant when it did gush I had time to get to the toilet and change,, and was still able to skate and have fun with the family. Yeah, when it's at its worst I already use a night pad & period pants and if I need to go out/have any sports classes a tampon as well, not a fan of tampons but I'm going through the thickest pads like they were some sort of superlight ones so it's not even a choice at this point! I'm just so glad period pants have become a thing in recent years, no idea how I'd cope without right now.
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Post by sprite on Nov 17, 2022 10:35:54 GMT -5
Yes, until earlier this year, I've had very regular periods. I've had random hot flashes, but those often seemed to come after drinking red wine. the past few months, the time between periods has ranged from 3-5 wks, with a LOT of light spotting--the kind that can be dealt with on a normal trip to the toilet.
but this week, even though i had a normal period 14 days ago, it's been constant, and my frickin' menstrual cups are not working, for the first time. I was up twice last night with leakage, and luckily found a tampon somewhere. I hadn't realised how dry they make everything. I can't work out how my body has managed to produce so much of this gunk in such a short time!
I'm wondering if I should start trying now to get a hormone test, and find out if the HRT offered here includes testosterone.
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Post by sprite on Nov 17, 2022 10:51:32 GMT -5
Hormonal birth control has never worked for me because of side effects so I'm dreading how this is all going to play out, especially as the peri stage can carry on for some time as I understand it (I'm 43 now). One of the things in the book was about how some birth control uses progestin, which isn't very useful for menopause, it needs to be progesterone. And... NHS Scotland doesn't offer testosterone. Although, apparently there is a legal requirement for workplaces to accomodate menopause symptoms!
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Post by Q-pee on Nov 17, 2022 23:52:36 GMT -5
I DO NOT MISS ANY OF IT
Periods got super frequent, fucking heavy and very fucking random. Then super infrequent but still random. I carried spares for about a year longer than I needed them.
I had hot spells, and still can't calibrate my own temperature so if I get too hot because it's sunny, or I exercised, or I exercised in the sun... it takes me ages to cool down again.
I had some memory fog, but less than fucking covid.
Sex drive is pretty much gone, such a time saver.
I'm more likely to cry at sad things on TV, which never happened at any point in my cycle.
I did not go for HRT or any medical intervention (although I came close), but it wasn't until I was well into it that I read any info on what might be going on and I regret that.
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Post by HalcyonDaze on Nov 18, 2022 1:18:58 GMT -5
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