Life changing decisions

[wapsyisuppose]

This is purely hypothetical at the moment. I've a lot of stuff going around my head in terms of plans going forward in my life and this is one of them.

i am thinking of maybe moving off the boat. BUT the question is, where to?

When moving, what are your "deal breakers". How do you decide where to move to? Type of property/bedrooms/outside space/community etc.

Work doesn't matter, I mostly work from home so that is taken care of.

[elora]

Not that i have moved a lot but i think my priorities would be community (do people get involved with their community, is there stuff going on? do people seem to care?), services and amentities (decent shops, restaurants, etc) and green-spaces (park or close enough to escape to them). Obviously, the actual abode is important too but i have such a wide range of stuff that i find cool and interesting, i think i would decide on the approx. area and then find the place.

[wapsyisuppose]

Good, those are some I did think of. I looked at some areas in South London which is where I can afford. I really dont think I can move out of London at all. I've looked in Surrey but it's too provincial for me.

I'm quite scared of this option to be honest. I've been on that boat for 8 years and have never lived anywhere that long in my entire life.

[paddox]

Make a list of what are deal breakers and what are the things that would be nice, but you could do without. This depends heavily on whether you remain in London or move out

Next, think of area. Would you compromise on area in order to have more living space? Do you need outside space or could you cope living near a park? Working mainly from home means you can be more flexible on this. Do you move near friends or does that not matter so much? If you're leaving london, do you need to be on a trainline so you can get to clients?

Are you looking at renting or buying? If buying, are all your accounts up to date etc for mortgages? If you want to rent, being self employed can make things complicated with regards affordability, you may have to pay six months up front or have a guarantor if you are going through an agent.

Exciting. Why are you thinking of a change? Fresh start and all?

[elora]

change is always kind of scary so it is natural that it is making you apprehensive. This may be a dumb question but can you moor the boat elsewhere? If i recall correctly, you seem to have a pretty sweet spot (irreplaceable?) now but could you move location? Or is it the boat itself you need a change from?

[stav]

I'm going through sort of the same thing...without a boat;-) In the past I've always moved pretty spontaneously to wherever I felt like moving; this is the first time I'm really trying to seriously consider pros and cons and I'm flummoxed.

The confusion has to do with where I should move to, though - as far as features of a building/apartment, I have a pretty good checklist for that.

[wapsyisuppose]

Oh god no, I can only rent. I dont have £80k to put down as a deposit.

Six months up front is fine. I just dont want to be moving every six months like I used to. I've quite liked the security of the boat.

Thinking of a change because I need to move forward somehow. I feel stagnant and just not "growing" up or forward if that makes sense?

It's not the only thing I'm thinking of by all my friends and family think it would be good to move off the boat - it's where I lived with my husband after all. We were even married there.

I HAVE to have outside space. That's non negotiable. South London gives me that for about £120 a week less than North London.

I keep getting excited about this option then freaking out about it.

[wapsyisuppose]

elora, another option is to get the boat "seaworthy" and take it away for 7 months from April.

I need megs to come here at tell me what she thinks. She's stayed on the boat and knows this stuff.

Stav, will you be buying? That's a more complicated situation I think. At least I could just move if I rented.

I could always rent the boat out for about £700 a month and that would go towards rent and boat upkeep. That's crossed my mind as well.

[stav]

Oh god no. I can't imagine ever buying!

[wapsyisuppose]

ha ha. Me too. Trapping!

[paddox]

Ha, I'm also feeling stagnant. Seven and a half years in my job, 11 years in London. I'm too comfortable, so I applied for a job in Beijing yesterday. I doubt I'd get it, but that would really shake me up.

[wapsyisuppose]

Ooh crikey, that's a proper bone rattle. Good luck!

Imagine if you did get it. Yikes. Would you take it?

[paddox]

Yes I would, as long as the money and benefits were good enough. It's a deputy head position for the Asian branch of a very well known British independent school, so I'd hope that the name would stand me in good stead when I came back to the uk. I can rent out my flat and get around £700 PCM after mortgage and rent management fees. I'd go for a minimum of two years, do a shit load of travelling in Asia and then come back to the uk. Doubt I'd get it though!

[wapsyisuppose]

Bloody good luck, good for you for taking life by the balls and twisting hard. I need to take a leaf out of your book.

[stav]

Yeah, the permanence of buying terrifies me. As does having to suddenly spend hundreds/thousands of dollars every now and then because some stupid thing goes wrong with your furnace. I couldn't afford to buy anything anyway. My mom occasionally talks about buying me a very small house, but I think that's b/c she wants to come live in it to get away from my dad annoying her:-D

[Webs]

I've lived in the same place for 17 years. I'm the wrong person ask but I think you're miserable on the boat.

[bundes]

I feel like I need a major shake up in my life as well.
Been at my job sine 1998, what was only going to be a 6 month stay in my apartment this August will be 10 years, FUCK how did that go by so fast? I still haven't even put anything on my walls, always thinking it would be a temporary stay.

Good luck to all thinking of making changes! Even if we don't do anything right away at least we've started by thinking of doing something.

[wapsyisuppose]

ah you see bundes, that's my problem. I want my house to be my home. I like all my shit around me and I like my clutter. Not putting stuff on the walls is not going to happen.

And yes, at least we thought about it, eh. daft bints that we are.

Webs, yes I think I am. I've just spent the past two years in a haze and not being able to see that.

[shilgia]

Sounds like a good idea. If you're afraid that you'll hate it, you could always do what you suggest: rent out the boat to someone temporarily. Then, if you hate it, you can move back into the boat. And if you decide that you like living on-shore, you can decide whether that arrangement continues to suit you or if you prefer to get rid of the boat.

I'm with you and Stav on being terrified of buying a house, by the way. It's not an option now anyway, but I don't think I'd ever want to. One would have to be very settled to do that. (I am thinking of moving, though, and I'm sure I will come back to this forum with similar questions about that at some point.)

[Webs]

Hey, it's all a part of the journey.

[wapsyisuppose]

[poppy]

Jan 12, 2013 14:09:39 GMT -5 @wapsyisuppose said:

I could always rent the boat out for about £700 a month and that would go towards rent and boat upkeep. That's crossed my mind as well.

I think that sounds like a good idea, then if you find you really miss the boat you have the option of going back.

As to the deal breaker for a move - each place is different, what I might say absolutely no to in one property in another I might agree to as the positives outweigh that negative.

[Hope_Springs]

I am a wimp so I always try to make life changing decisions that are flexible (ie not life changing if I hate them!) In your situation I'd rent the boat, rent somewhere I would like and head back to boat if it turns out I hated dry land. I have found I need a house that has at least one room that gets lots of light

[owlet]

Has it really been 8 years already? Fucking hell time flies!

I can understand why you'd want to, but at the same time you'd lose the freedom you have at the moment. Maybe you could rent the boat out for 6 months and get a house/flat for the same time and see what it feels like? I'm somehow convinced you'd hate living off the boat after a while! I could be way off base though, but I think I'm projecting here. I'm starting to dream of house boats again...

[welle]

Jan 12, 2013 20:22:31 GMT -5 owlet said:

I can understand why you'd want to, but at the same time you'd lose the freedom you have at the moment. Maybe you could rent the boat out for 6 months and get a house/flat for the same time and see what it feels like? I'm somehow convinced you'd hate living off the boat after a while! I could be way off base though, but I think I'm projecting here.

That sounds like a good idea.

[pyrrha]

Good for you wapsy. Why not make the leap if you feel it's time? Trust your gut.

As for buying, I have the same fear of permanence, but finally bit the bullet because there was no sense paying ever-increasing rent in the same city. I meant to be here 1-2 years and it's been more than 5. I too have no idea where the time went, and it's time to shake *something* up - likely on the work front but I don't know yet.

What do you want out of a living space? For me, the big things are proximity to work (non-issue for you), good energy (I know that sounds weird), and lots of natural light. Also open space - I don't like walls.

[weeg]

I think moving off the boat is a great idea, because of the fuckwit husband associations. I can see you in a flat with a shed/office at the end of the garden.

[Tulipana]

For me, I would write down what I absolute hate about my current place 'things I don't want anymore' or what I hated in other places I've lived in. For example: a bath only is not an option for me, I need a proper shower. I am to tall to shower in a bath tub.

If I would have to move right now, I'd probably move abroad... I have itchy feet. Maybe we should do a house swap Waps ;-)

[mei]

moving is always tough to decide on, I think. it took me ages to figure out what I wanted, and I ended up with something different from what I had in mind. But love the place I live now.

it helped a lot for me to just go and see places, best way to figure out what is important to you (though it also sounds a bit like you have some idea already, like the outdoor space etc).

about buying, I also was always scared to do so, seemed too permanent, too settled somehow. I did end up buying an apartment and couldn't be happier. As far as permanent, I can always rent it out if I want to move abroad or somewhere else. And I feel it's a relatively safe/tangible investment, which isn't bad I think.

[Deleted]

it's where I lived with my husband after all. We were even married there.

See that in itself can not have been easy! I stayed in our house for about 3 months and it almost killed me... I not only left the house, i left my job and I left the city... With out the seachange (red-dirt change??) I would not have been able to heal and move on.

I think if you want to move, move! Nothing stopping you going back if you dont like it. Dont let fear stop you xxx